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Dressed To Thrill |
The air is crisp as I make my way into a small building on a gallery littered street. The lights are low, the decoration minimal. The painted concrete floor is cold but the walls are warm. I am immediately taken by the large paintings hung strategically around the room. Dark colors intrigue me as I stare to form a conclusion. This art gallery opening is a first for me.
My name is Tux. Tuxedo. I'm the elegant garment worn by gentlemen of stature. Right now I'm wrapped around a six foot four man of muscle with bulges in just the right places. He's here to support the artist, a woman easily recognized because of the attention she is receiving. He follows her walk, admires the curve of her bare back, and saunters over confidently. Their eyes meet and within moments he has her in his arms. His lips brush over her ear, down her neck, then settle up on her full red lips. She pulls back, but only after enjoying the taste of his mouth. "Hi honey," she says. "You look terrific in that tuxedo."
She resumes mingling with the guests and we take a stroll to admire the art. We stop at a large painting of a nude woman concealed in the right places by a small boy covering his front with a baseball cap. While we look I suddenly feel a pair of hands slide under my jacket and feel their way along my tuxedo vest. The soft hands are about to go lower when my wearer makes a quick move to greet his acquaintance. "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else." "That's okay," he says, "no harm done." She leaves with an embarrassed look on her face and we resume our viewing.
I don't blame her for wanting a feel. designer tuxedos like myself are hard to resist. I am the traditional black dinner jacket tuxedo. The first official appearance of my kind dates back over one hundred years. I like to brag that I'm a symbol of celebration, to be worn only at special occasions. Elegance is my middle name, and it drives women wild.
The most obvious special occasions are weddings. Wedding tuxedos are a must for any black tie affair. In addition to the groom, who should stand out from the crowd, male guests wishing to make a statement can dress for the occasion as well. I've been to several weddings, and let me tell you, I make quite an impression. The instant I'm worn, I exude confidence. I'm handsome and sophisticated. I mean business. And my business is a pleasure.
I'm a tuxedo rental so the best part of my job is regularly hanging onto a different person. I never get bored. I go to the most glamorous parties, the most amazing dinners and the best Hollywood
affairs. I'm with the who of a who's who. And I'm an equal opportunity employer. Young or old, I don't care, as long as you fit the bill. As far as tuxedo rentals go, I'm the crème de la crème.
We are a heartbeat away from a woman in a slinky red dress. She is eyeing a painting, deciding whether she must have it, when I feel her gaze. I get the feeling this woman gets what she wants. She looks me up and down and a slight smile forms on her lips. "What do you think?" she asks, nodding toward the painting but keeping her eyes on me. "I think it's a must have," he answers, returning the smile. He turns to go and she touches his shoulder. Again, I'm irresistible. "Thanks," she offers, hoping for more. But that's all she's going to get.
An attractive woman walks by us. She is also wearing a tuxedo. Women's tuxedos have become a popular choice for evening gatherings. This one is quite sexy. The jacket is open and the pressed white shirt is unbuttoned to below her breastbone, revealing a hint of red lace bra. The shirt collar is loose, the black straight pants tight. Black high heel sandals finish the look. She gives us the once over and smiles a smile of camaraderie. Who wouldn't smile back? No harm in a smile, right?
Last weekend I was at a prom. Prom tuxedos are popular this time of year. And like I hinted at, I like variety. There were some colored tuxedos at the dance. They certainly spiced things up and made the evening more bright. Black can get a little boring sometimes. Not that I have any intention of ever changing. It was nice being on a young body. We danced all night. I got to rub shoulders with a beautiful girl. I was touched by her attention, especially at the end of the night. I wonder how this night is going to end.
We are back with the artist. She wraps her arms around my collar and hangs her body down as if she's stretching her arms and back. "I've sold three paintings tonight," she coos. "I think you and your tux bring me luck." "How's my luck going to be later?" he asks. "I'd say you're going to be very lucky," she replies, releasing her arms and slowly walking away. She looks over her shoulder and winks.
My name is Tux. Tuxedo. And I work like a charm.
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