As seems to a rather heated topic, I would like to suggest that brides/grooms phrase the request for money; "A gift toward the purchase of our first home is most appreciated." Stating this on the invitation would not be appropriate so include a smaller insert.
*L* Thanks for being so blunt!!! I've talked to so many married couples who say they wished they had stated their desires on the invitation. So many are overwhelemd with unwanted gifts and a cousin of mine is selling some at a garage sale! (hopefully none of the other relatives show up!!)
All in all, with the wedding traditions changing every year, there must be room/ ways to get around this money fiasco!
Has anyone ever asked for 'cash' and if so how did it turn out?
I put it on my invitations because I thought since I was not having a bridal shower and because I was having a destination wedding (since our family lives all over) I figured why have people travel to an island with gifts? I wanted to do a destination wedding to make it like a reunion/vacation/wedding all in one. It was very beautiful. I will tell you this, my coordinator in Jamaica was mortified when I sent her a sample of my invitation. She asked me if I had time to have them re-done. Since there wasn't, she gave me beautiful floral sticker border to cut and place over the wording. She told me that it was like soliciting at the wedding. Her thought was since I was not registered, was not having a shower and was getting married on an island, that people coming would automatically bring money. She was right. The stickers that she gave me went perfect as I was having a garden theme wedding and the invitation was flowers so it was fine. I covered it up nicely. I told her that the place who did my invitations told me it was okay and she told me they are out to make money so they will okay anything. Etiquette states that you shouldn't and I followed what she told me.
After reviewing everyone's posts I have come to decide that I wil not be requesting 'cash' on the invitation. You all made valid points that helped me to see that I was starting to lose sight of the real importance of my wedding day. Thanks!
You cannot possibly be serious. Were you serious in saying it's okay to ask for money toward a house?? You have got to be kidding. It is never appropriate to make ANY REFERENCES AT ALL to gifts, whether monetary or otherwise, on an invitation. I can't believe how tacky people are. It's already understood most newly married couples need money. But to put it on an invitation? You just can't get much tackier than that. I can't believe there are still people who think asking is okay and others who look for "creative", "delicate", "subtle", or other adjectives in wording asking for money. You don't have to come out and tell people you're desperate even if you are. I could never, ever ask for money on an invitation. Tacky, tacky, tacky. Nor would I respond or attend a wedding where money or any other gift was asked for. How offensive and rude.
Sometimes etiquette is just uptight. I would be relieved that the couple told me what they wanted instead of letting me go through the trouble of picking something out that they don't even want. Maybe I am just not as easily offended by such small matters. It is about a celebration of love right? Why not help make the day all about them?
Nothing says you as a guest cannot give the couple money! If you don't want to shop, or order from the registry fine give them money.....heck who can't use the money. What you can't do as stated above and EVERYTIME the question is asked is that the couple should not be requesting ANY KIND of gift most of all CASH!!!
We live in the midwest and we received cash/checks from about 95% of our guests without putting anything on our invites etc. Maybe it is a regional thing. I have to say I've never been to a Wedding that had more than a few boxes on the gift table.
You can tell your Wedding party, and family if anyone asks what you want, to say money but that is about it.
I know people say it is the 2000"s etc......but do good manners really go out of style? i hope not.
